Frustrated

I have reached the point in our journey where frustration takes complete control of me. I cannot think about anything other than having a baby. I know that I cannot compare myself to others but I am now to the point that it is hard to hear about someone else being pregnant. It’s true I don’t know what they went through to get there; they may have had a long journey of their own. To see one of my good friends congratulating someone else on their pregnancy because they posted it on FB and the undeniable excitement she has for someone I know she is not very close with, JUST PLAIN HURTS! Of course I am surrounded by nearly 100 people in a crowded lunch area and see this from a far. It took every ounce of strength I had not to lose it right there.

So now I am sitting her still upset. Almost eight hours later.

No one ever tells you how hard this process will be.

No one ever tells you that you will ask why on a constant basis.

No one ever tells you that you will want to cry when you see a pregnant woman in line at the grocery store paying for groceries with food stamps (this happen yesterday).

For now I am throwing a pity party for one. No one else is invited!!!!!

I am really discouraged.

I want us to be us and not be timing everything and making sure we are hitting the right days.

Maybe I’m PMSing. I know that I am tired.

I just want one thing in life to come easy for me. I really hope this is the month but I don’t have high hopes. I am an all around negative nelly today.