Sweet Summertime!

M and I are very "outdoorsy" people. I like to think we are slightly adventerous.

This weeks adveture was a 5 mile round trip hike that included lots of rock climbing at the top.

I truely love our one on one time. We need more of it!

We are so blessed to live in such a beautiful area.

Bad days!

During this journey I have become very aware on what a bad day is. Today is one of those days.

I guess it has just been a rough week and today it is finally hitting me. Maybe its because I feel bad for feeling sad. When good things happen for other people, you should be happy for them. I am having trouble with that lately.

Do I think that my cousins baby is amazing? Yes!

But....do I envy them right now more than anything? Yes.

Am I happy for a FB friend that announced she is pregnant? Absolutley (Especially because I think they have been trying for a while)

Did I tear up when I looked at the announcement? Sure did.

I swear, this infertility shit is for the birds.

I don't know if I am sad, angry or just a bitter hussy at this moment. I don't want to be bitter, but I am.

Keeping the happy face on when your crying inside is a hard job.

Judge Away, Because its Happening.

Okay peeps, its time to get cereal.

M has decided that taking blood pressure medicine and not having a blood pressure problem is moronic. I see his point. Blood pressure is not something I want to mess around with.

So I did some research of my own and came across Maca Root. It seems to be about as natural as it gets and he is all for that. We both have seen the benefits of starting a vitamin regimen. The day we decided to start trying I started taking a prenatal and DHEA. I have been known to take Evening Primrose Oil,  but not every cycle.

Some people will judge because we can't confirm it with a doctor. However, we asked the Dr. directly about supplements or vitamins and he did not want to discuss them. M is done with doctors and I guess I am just trying to hang on. He is not very hopeful at this point.

He seems to be willing to continue on with a more natural approach. Maybe we are both just dirty hippies, who want to camp in primitive sites and live off the land.

Speaking of living off the land , I can't wait to get plants in the ground. It is for sure on the agenda for this weekend. We have already been tilling the plot and pulling rocks out.

M built a bridge across the pond a couple weeks ago. As always this house is a constant project. He is always building something. I think we have decided to stay here for a couple more years. I told him if he could get me an out building of my own for storage I could make it work. That give away that damn iguana.

Here are a few pics of the projects we have done in the last month:

Results x3

The urologist's nurse called me today this afternoon with the results of test número 3. It's not good folks. His count is half of what it was last month. Last month it was 13 million and this month it is 7 million.

To say I am sad right now is an understatement.

I am really beginning to give up the little hope that I had left. I wish I knew how to process this right now. He is super disappointed and said it makes him feel terrible. He doesn't want to keep up the suggestions at this point.

I just don't know what the future holds. And that scares the shit out of me!